Don’t Use Dirty Tricks
Going through a divorce is a time of extreme emotional trauma. Your whole life is turned upside down. You might feel vulnerable or you might feel vindictive. One way or the other, you will be bombarded by copious emotions and they could weaken you as you go through this process. If you feel weakened, you could fall prey to the dirty divorce tricks syndrome used by some attorneys at the behest of their clients who might also feel vindictive. And you could think that dirty divorce tricks is okay to use yourself. I don’t think so. Dirty pool has a way of hitting you where you are weakest.
You need a good attorney yourself. If you are in a weakened emotional state, you won’t be able to see the tricks coming at you due to your subjectivity. You need a support team on your side who can remain objective and serve your best interests and more importantly, serve the interest of your children. So hire a good divorce attorney who has a good reputation for fairness and good standing for his clients.
There are many articles in circulation that will tell you what those tricks are. Please go find and read those articles on the internet and inform yourself of some of the things that could happen. This article is not about that. This article is about your vulnerability and becoming stronger for yourself and your children.
When you are vulnerable and under emotional duress, your ex may try to take advantage of you. You will need a strong support team. I don’t mean a girlfriend who agrees with you. I’m talking about a mentor who can guide you through these vulnerable times so that you are not taken advantage of. Please find someone with some experience in life who has some wisdom and who cares enough about you to teach you what is happening from an objective perspective and can help you side step the so-called land mines.
There are things that you deserve according to the law. Your divorce attorney will know what they are. But it wouldn’t hurt you one bit to do some research on the internet to know what your rights are yourself. Your attorney sees you as one of many clients and he or she is human. They might miss a detail. If you know what those details about your entitlements are, you can ask your attorney “What about this?” as a reminder to be sure nothing that you deserve by law is missed. Being informed is being armed.
When you have court documents that specify what the agreements are to be, stick with them. It’s a form of vulnerability to believe an ex who says “I know what the papers say, but I’m willing to do x. “ If he’s willing to do x, let him put it into the court documents. Don’t deviate from what the court has decreed.
If you have a tendency toward naïveté, work to correct this. The only way to not be naïve is to be informed. Learn all you can about the subject at hand. Consult with your Divorce attorney. Don’t agree to anything with your ex without this consult, particularly if you’re naïve. You need the assistance of your divorce attorney’s protection until you grow stronger yourself. If you’ve suffered emotional trauma that has left you feeling vulnerable and vindictive – someone who might feel tempted to resort to dirty divorce tricks - you will need a strong skill set, a lot of knowledge, professional support but mainly, internal courage to face your ex down and get what you deserve by law. Don’t become a divorce horror story statistic.
Len :: Jun.03.2009 :: General ::
