Comments on: Let’s be Honest About Ourselves http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com/blog/40/lets-be-honest-about-ourselves/ Advice on singe parenting after divorce Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:41:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: spammsmom http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com/blog/40/lets-be-honest-about-ourselves/#comment-147 spammsmom Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:53:08 +0000 http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com/blog/40/lets-be-honest-about-ourselves/#comment-147 Um... ok... no likey! i can totally see where you are coming from, and there are some good points in your blog, however there must be a difference between a "deal breaker" and "normal irritants" in a marriage. Your comment of "what did you do that brought on the divorce? " just furthers the blame process that you say is not good. Asking "what did I do that caused strife?" is different than asking "what did I do that caused the divorce?" It is ok to have personality traits that are not 100% what your spouse wants, but that is no reason or cause for divorce. Infidelity and lying certainly do not fall under the same category or compare with being irritated, do they? Are you asking what Julie did to contribute to Mike's affair? Cuz that is NOT a fair question, and it does place blame perhaps where it shouldn't. We can all find things to change in our past or present marriages, but that doesn't mean that the BLAME of divorce falls on us. Blame is somewhat a shameful word. Can't we just move on without pointing fingers... even if they are pointed with good intent at ourselves?? Um… ok… no likey! i can totally see where you are coming from, and there are some good points in your blog, however there must be a difference between a “deal breaker” and “normal irritants” in a marriage.

Your comment of “what did you do that brought on the divorce? ” just furthers the blame process that you say is not good. Asking “what did I do that caused strife?” is different than asking “what did I do that caused the divorce?”

It is ok to have personality traits that are not 100% what your spouse wants, but that is no reason or cause for divorce. Infidelity and lying certainly do not fall under the same category or compare with being irritated, do they?

Are you asking what Julie did to contribute to Mike’s affair? Cuz that is NOT a fair question, and it does place blame perhaps where it shouldn’t.

We can all find things to change in our past or present marriages, but that doesn’t mean that the BLAME of divorce falls on us.

Blame is somewhat a shameful word. Can’t we just move on without pointing fingers… even if they are pointed with good intent at ourselves??

]]>