If you are anything like any other divorced parent in the world, you would agree with the fact that it is sometimes hard to keep your cool.  When life is stressful, when your tired, when your irritated, the hardest thing in the world is to have patience and tolerance for your children.  If you are going through a divorce, you will probably find yourself going from one extreme to another.  One minute you are feeling guilty about the divorce and over indulging your children, and the next minute you are so overwhelmed with how much you have on your plate you seem to fly off the handle at any little thing.  This is all very normal, but not productive.

Stress can cause us to act in ways that don’t make us proud.  The first thing that you need to remember is that losing your temper with your children just makes the situation worse.  They are under pressure, too, and are probably acting out a lot more frequently than usual. If you can step outside of yourself for a moment and look at what you are actually losing your temper about, you would probably find it to not be such a big deal. 

The trick is to take some time everyday to take a breath.  In fact, take some deep breaths.  It may seem like very generic advice, but it actually works.  If you find yourself starting to lose it, walk away and breathe.  Evaluate what is actually so terrible at the present moment.  Probably nothing is all that bad. 

When you lose your cool, you end up feeling guilty, and that just ends up in a downward spiral on the road to other bad decisions regarding your children.  You can really make a difference in your own life if you try to make it a daily goal to not yell.  You will be able to think more clearly about what is going on and make better decisions. Discipline will also be more effective if you don’t lose your cool.

When you are a divorced parent going through difficult times and it is hard to keep a clear head, many people make things worse by losing their temper. Don’t be one of those people.  It’s not good for either you or your children.  Think clearly and emotion free.  Be objective not subjective.  What advice would you yourself give a friend that was going through the same situation that you are going through?  You already have the answers; it’s just hard to find them alone when your feelings are all stirred up.  Have confidence in yourself that you are able to handle what ever gets thrown your way and you will be better at keeping your cool.

Len :: Jul.13.2008 :: Caring for your Children, Disciplining Children ::

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