Should Kids Do Homework At Your House?
Frequently in a divorce, if you are the custodial parent, the children do their homework at your house under your supervision. Because the needs of the children should always come first, if a situation arises where they have homework or a project that is due, and it’s their weekend to visit their other parent, that homework task should transfer over to the parent they are visiting.
Children know when their parents are consistent and in agreement. While they might grouse at the time in the face of consistency or agreement, in the long run they will appreciate it. So if it is at all possible, work to communicate standards back and forth between you and your ex and then let the kids know that you support one another. I cannot think of one thing that drove me up the walls as a kid when I tried to “work” my parents was to hear either one of them say “What did your father / mother say?” I knew I’d had it and would not succeed at manipulating them to do what I wanted.
Homework is an ongoing demand for children and it deserves as much attention as the work you do at your job each day. It is their job. Don’t minimize their job in any way. Don’t say things like “Oh this is much easier than when I was a kid.” It’s their task today and honor that. Support one another and your child with standards like:
Penmanship should be legible. Their homework should look good.
Homework should be complete. Don’t let them do things by halves.
Homework should be accurate. You check their answers and help them to get the right ones.
Share homework duties. If one of the parents is better at a particular subject than the other, then that parent should help with that subject. Let the child know you are only a phone call away to help him figure out how to do that homework.
When your kids are visiting you and they have homework, establish a place and time for that to get done. Do the hardest homework first and then take a break. Your kids will appreciate your help with this, regardless of which parent is helping them.
When your children know that you place a high importance to them getting their homework done, it creates continuity, a sense of priority, and a sense of love. They deserve these comforts and they deserve to see homework, not as a curse, but as an accomplishment that both his parents support.
Len :: Nov.19.2008 :: Caring for your Children, Custody Issues :: No Comments »
