Book Excerpt:

“It’s human nature not to like to deal with unpleasant things, unpleasant situations, or unpleasant people.  It’s also human nautre to suffer.  but smart humans get past the suffering by dealing with their demans straight up. 

When I was a kid, anyone who got sick was dragged to the doctor’s office for a shot.   We would always moan and cry and whine about not wanting to go.  We would make every argument we could think of, and ultimately our mom would drag us kicking and screaming to the doctor’s for a shot.  Every time it made us feel better, but damn, that shot hurt!…

The lesson her is:  Deal with the quick, intense pain, and get over that long, dragged-out, torturous stuff.  You can peel the Band-Aid off slowly and painfully, or you can pull it off quickly and be done with it.  Your choice”

~Len

blog-admin :: Aug.03.2010 :: Caring for Yourself After Divorce, General :: No Comments »

When we are married we start to learn how to rely on each other.  You were supposed to right?  Going from the state of marriage to being a single parent is mind blowing to say the least.  You have to learn how to rely on yourself.

I found that after my divorce I lost my faith in people to some degree.  My system was in such a state of shock that I was no longer married that I started to believe that the only person I could count on was ME!

In some ways, it’s true.  Being married does mean working as a team, but not being dependant on someone else.  Nevertheless, it’s hard to start you mind in the direction of thinking that now… EVERYTHING IS ON YOU!

It’s less intimidating if you just accept it.  I don’t mean that you won’t have help from family and friends, but the big stuff is up to you.  It’s also a blessing sometimes.  Enjoy the fact that for now, you are completely in control of your life.  You are the one to make the decisions and you will either reap the positive or negative impacts.  It can be quite satisfying to learn how strong you really are.

~Len

blog-admin :: Jun.26.2010 :: Caring for Yourself After Divorce :: No Comments »

Weekly Book Excerpt:

” People generally don’t like change. We resist it, even though we know it’s inevitable. Someone once said we’re all a little bit insane. That’s sort of a dramatic way of getting your attention but you do have to admit that we all do irrational things. We know that change is inevitable. We know that it will come into our lives, and yet we resist it.”

This may be the most dramatic point that I would like to make in my book. It’s incredible that we all resist change so much yet we all rationally know it will continue to happen. How boring would life be if there wasn’t change?

~Len

Len :: Apr.05.2010 :: Caring for Yourself After Divorce :: No Comments »

Weekly book excerpt:

Are My Feelings Subjective or Objective?

” If your feelings about your ex are only focused on him or her, they are subjective and not doing you one bit of good. Whatever issues your spouse had with you weren’t solved because he or she left you. They may put on a good face because they especially want to look good infront of you. But most likely, their problems haven’t gone away. Regardless of whether they have or not, it’s not up to you to correct them.”

The focus is no longer your ex. It can’t be. You are not one single family unit anymore. The focus needs to be your children and yourself. Spending day after day holding a grudge against your ex is too much work and very destructive. Look at the bigger picture. The smaller your thinking the more subjective you are being, the bigger the thinking the more objective.

Whataya think?
Len

Len :: Mar.16.2010 :: Caring for Yourself After Divorce :: No Comments »

I came across a really good article on dating after divorce. Check it out and give me some feed back on what you think or if you have any additional advice!

~ Len

http://tinyurl.com/yl4g2ym

Len :: Mar.08.2010 :: Caring for Yourself After Divorce, Caring for your Children :: 3 Comments »