We all have those times when we feel like we are about to lose our cool with our children, and it’s easier to get to that point when you are going through divorce. It doesn’t matter how amicable it may be or how hard, it’s stressful.
Here are some tips on trying to keep from blowing up at your kids:
1.Let them make choices. They probably feel a loss of control in their situation. Their parents are divorcing. Let them make some of their own choices with out shouting out demands all the time
2. Don’t react. Kids are great at setting traps to get their way by getting you to react. Don’t. They are all going to say things that hurt. “I hate my life.” Something like that. They don’t mean it and don’t try to convince them other wise. Don’t react to nonsense at all.
3. Let them maintain some personal space. Whether it’s their messy bedroom or unbrushed hair, this is a sensitive time in all of your lives. Leave some things up to them and don’t pick just because you are frustrated with your current situation.
4. Don’t take your child’s behavior personally. Not everything that your children do is a reflection of YOU. They are human beings and are going to do things differently than you sometimes no matter what you have taught them. If they say things to hurt your feelings, realize that they are trying to adapt to a new situation also and it may just be their way of lashing out.
Just remember that losing your temper isn’t going to do anything but make the situation worse. You are the adult and you need to find a way to be in control of it. Whether it’s counting to ten or walking away, you need to make sure that you don’t lose your temper. Come back to the situation once you have cooled down and try it again.
One more thing… You aren’t perfect and that’s okay. Take every day one step at a time and keep moving forward. That’s all any of us can do!
~ Len
Len :: Sep.22.2009 ::
Caring for Yourself After Divorce, Caring for your Children ::
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