Wisdom For Divorced Parents

“Make Rules, then Enforce Them”

Below is my excerpt of the week:

“Make Rules, then Enforce Them: One quick way to establish trust is to establish rules. Do this witht he imput of your children. It depends on their age, but sit down with them and let them know there are rules in your house, rules in their relationships. With their imput, establish those rules. Make sure the rules are clear and that everyone agrees to them. This is important: Let them know the rules are not a burden. Teach them that the rules are a bonus, a benefit……Your kids don’t need you to be the most fun parent or more fun than Mom. They need a parent who can guide them, a parent they can trust. Be careful what you say and how you live.”

This is just a small part of the chapter: “Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say”… I feel it is probably the most important chapter in the book regarding how your kids turn out!

~Len

Len :: Jan.19.2010 :: Disciplining Children :: No Comments »

New Year, New YOU!

Everyone usually can agree that the new year is a chance to start over in a variety of ways. Going through a divorce although difficult, sad, and frustrating is a start to the new YOU! The only person who can put a positive twist on this hard situation is you. Here are a few tips to start you off…

1. Improve something about your physical appearance. You may be surprised that something physical would be my first tip, but it is all tied together where it counts. When we are going through a divorce, it’s easy to let ourselves go physically. Our health and our appearance can suffer which inturn brings us down emotionally. So do something about it! Start a new exercise routine! Vow to go to the doctor more regularly!

2. Visit people you haven’t seen in a long time. Right now you are in a place where you tend to be extremely inwardly focused. Take a break from thinking about your own problems. Visit some friends or family that you haven’t seen in awhile. It will give a break from your reality and recharge your battery.

3. Break a bad habit. Whether it’s smoking, drinking too much, shopping, biting your nails, it doesn’t matter, break the habit. Prove to yourself how strong you are and stop making excuses!

~Len

Len :: Jan.08.2010 :: Caring for Yourself After Divorce :: No Comments »

Change is SCARY!

Change is something that is inevitable. We can’t stop it. Below is an excerpt from my book about the power of embracing change instead of rejecting it!

“Embrace Change…. People generally don’t like change. We resist it even though we know it’s inevitable. Someone once said we’re all a little bit insane. That’s sort of a dramatic way of getting your attention, but you do have to admit that we all do irrational things. We know that change is ivevitable. We know that it will come into our lives, and yet we resist it…”

This is probably the most important chapter in the book. It applies to every one of us! If you have read the book, take a minute to go back through and re-read this chapter. It WILL help. If you haven’t read it… now’s your chance!

~Len

Len :: Jan.06.2010 :: Caring for Yourself After Divorce :: No Comments »

Be Fully Present with your Kids… Even When It’s Nearly Impossible

Below is an excerpt from my book…

” I remember very clearly driving to a family birthday party with the kids shortly after my divorce. I knew my brothers would be there with their wives, their kids and my parents… one big, happy family. There would only be one failure in the family - me.”

Now this is just the beginning of this really important section of my book. All I could focus on that day was ME. I was a failure. I couldn’t cut it. I remember my kids talking to me and me giving them routine answers because I could think of anything but how I felt. I didn’t even take into account the fact that they were just excited to go to the birthday party, and had absolutely no focus whatsoever on me being a “failure”.

They were fine until they noticed I wasn’t fine. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and wondered what the hell I was doing. We only had that car ride, that moment and I was ruining it.

It’s the biggest challenge, in my opinion, that we all as adults face… living in the “NOW” the PRESENT. Even as you read this, I’m sure you are thinking about the past or the future, both of which you can’t do anything about. You are missing out on your only guarantee. This moment is all any of us have. Take it by the horns. Live your life, right now.

~Len

Len :: Dec.21.2009 :: Caring for Yourself After Divorce, Caring for your Children :: No Comments »